1.21.2010

Bridge Over Trebled Slaughter

SPOILER WARNING: Left 4 Dead 2 spoilers ahead. Proceed at your own risk.

In the aftermath of the release of Left 4 Dead 2, there was a lot of complaint-laden chatter on the interwebs. "It's too soon!" "It's too expensive!" It's too HARD! Even easy is too HARD!"

Let me tell you a story.

There are a bunch of achievements to get in L4D2. Some are easy (survive a campaign, 200 lifetime melee kills), some are hard (survive all campaigns on expert, kill a tank with only melee weapons). One of these achievements is called "Bridge Over Troubled Slaughter" - cross the bridge in the Parish finale in under 3 minutes.

This is no ordinary bridge. This is a highway suspension bridge spanning the Mississippi River, covered in abandoned vehicles. Oh, and ZOMBIES. Lots of zombies. It's a long bridge, and basically the finale of the entire game.

DISCLAIMER: I am not very good at first-person shooters. L4D2 is a first-person shooter.

Anyway, this past Tuesday Night Shooting Club, myself and a friend make the call. We're doing this 3 minute run. 2 humans, 2 computer AI.

3 attempts later, -clink-, Achievement Unlocked!

Now, this was on easy difficulty, and the only way to make it across the bridge in time was to kill the pokey, cautious AI as soon as the level started. So, 2 players (one of whom is not very good), on easy, on the Xbox 360 version, with no AI assistance. 3 tries. 3 minutes.

Conclusion? If you're crying that L4D2 is "too hard", quit crying. Man up, try again, and learn 2 shoot, noob. Because, quite simply, you're just plain wrong.

Postscript: anyone waiting on the GenCon wrap-up blog should pin their hopes on next August. I even took notes last year, but far too much time has passed.